Food fight!

We were having lunch at a lunch restaurant with a walking buffet.

Some high school kids came in and we watched them. We saw many similarities with how we were in high school.

One of them accidentally dropped a small lettuce piece on the other girl's tray. The 'victim' threw it on the first girl's plate and that's how it all started.

They started throwing salad at each other and soon everyone in line joined them. They also threw food at their friends who were already at their table, who joined the fight too.

It was massive! The manager tried to stop everyone, but they threw food at him too. Brooke just started eating quickly so we could leave soon, but when they started throwing food at us too we couldn't resist and joined the fight.

Valery accidentally hit a little girl on the head with a piece of bread.

We were so good that we sneaked out without getting hit!

Valery Ah, high school...

We found a diary!

We were taking a walk and saw a diary on the ground. We didn't see anyone around, so we think someone left their bag open and it fell out.

It is a diary and people tell them their most intense feelings. We thought about reading it… should we?

We don't know her, so it's not that bad if we get to know something (or everything) about her. But it are private feelings.

We came up with all kinds of excuses to read the diary. Maybe her address was in it so we could return it to her. Maybe she left it there on purpose because she wanted people to read it. Or it was all part of a hidden camera TV show.

We didn't read the diary. We just flicked through the diary real fast, seeing only a beautiful handwriting.

Valery What wonderful life would this person have? Amazingly perfect, excitingly varied and outgoing? We'll never know.

Vicey!

We met Vicey today!

Vicey is the most wonderful person in the world! She knows exactly how you feel and everything she says is exactly what you want to hear at that moment.

When you talk to her you learn so much about yourself and everyone feels like they can tell her everything they feel.

We happen to meet her today, we didn't even know we would ever see her again. We had changed our phone nrs at the same time before, so we couldn't reach each other anymore.

We were happy to see her again and we talked for 5 hours (is that much?) about everything that happened in our lives. We feel like our lives are so much richer now that she's in our lives again. We don't need that 'self discovery' class!

Two rich sexists

Brooke Another interesting day

We were talking to each other when we noticed a scene taking place. Two obviously rich men were 'entertaining' themselves with two girls.

The two girls were clearly only interested because they like money. People were standing around, watching the girls acting like... let's say they didn't act so emancipated.

When the girls left to get drinks, we followed them and told them they shouldn't let the men treat them so sexistly. They thought we were jealous!

Valery How could anyone even want men like those for something else than their money?!

We made a plan to show the girls the men were sexists and to punish the men. We went to the men (the two girls were already there) and whispered in their ears.

Valery doesn't want to say what she said! She's awful!! What I said was completely acceptable!

The men were instantly not interested in the two other girls anymore and 'dumped' them. Valery really knows what men want...

Then we dumped the men, and nobody wanted them anymore.

The women still didn't like us, but at least those sexists won't be having fun with them!

A guy was *********ing in the bushes!

It was filthy! We know men can be pretty pathetic, but this pathetic?!

We were at the Water Paradise talking to some friends. Some girls were sitting on the ground nearby. Suddenly a guy was loudly screaming 'Hey hey!' We looked over at the bushes where the sound came from, but we couldn't see anything.

Then two guys ran out of the bushes, one chasing the other with a stick! The chased one's pants were unbuttoned!

They ran away, later the guy with the stick came back and he told everyone he caught that guy pleasuring himself in the bushes!

Valery How can they even live with themselves?!

Brooke I just hope he wasn't looking at me when he did it!

Cat scratch

We were on our way to meet a friend. We were going to meet her new lover!

When we walked around a corner, Valery almost stepped on a cat. The cat lashed out at her because she didn't feel safe. We wanted to play with her and show we are friendly, but she kept hissing so we left.

As we left, the cat followed us and tried to bite us! We ran for 1 second, but it kept chasing us!

We tried talking to it, but it didn't understand what we were saying and tried biting us again. So we ran away, but the cat ran after us and scratched Valery's boot.

Valery Now I have the most beautiful boots ever!

Brooke Who knew cats can run faster than humans?

Groped by a girl

We had just gone out and we were walking home. We heard someone running towards us from behind and we thought she would just pass us.

Suddenly Valery was groped by a girl!

She was drunk and she thought Valery was her friend. When Valery turned around she just kept laughing and embraced her. Then she said 'You're not my friend! Who are you?'

Valery tried to push her away but she just kept holding on! Drunk people can be so funny!

The super smelly guy

We took an introductory lesson in 'self discovery'. It's a course about discovering who you are and what you want to do with your life.

We had to sit outside in pairs and get to know each other. Brooke had to do this assignment with some guy who she still doesn't know.

Brooke He was super smelly! If he goes in the jungle nobody would even eat him!

Brooke didn't want to be smelled with him! It was embarrassing to hang out with him, she was constantly looking if someone smelled him with her.

The wind was going from him to Brooke, so she changed sides. Then the wind changed...

Brooke I almost told him to take a shower.

Why are men so dirty? So to all men reading this: take a shower!

Because of the smell, Brooke didn't really listen (or make eye contact) and she didn't get to know much about the guy. When she had to introduce him to the group - she knew nothing!

She was thrown out of the class for not even trying. The teacher said she had never seen anything like this before and it was 'hopeless and useless' for Brooke to take this class.

Brooke It was his fault I didn't get to know him!

Valery Luckily we didn't take that self defense class with him!

We saved a shy girl from sexists!

Five guys were talking to a girl at our hang out spot. The guys were trying to seduce her and she didn't dare to say she wanted to leave.

She was obviously shy: talking nervously and looking down a lot. But she didn't leave so the guys could just keep talking to her.

We pretended to be her friends and tried to save her from the guys. But they surrounded us and pushed us back when we tried to leave while they were laughing. This we really didn't like.

We told them a girl would never leave a guy who's good in bed, then we asked them where there girlfriends were. They all said they had girlfriends so we had no more trouble leaving.

The shy girl thanked us for saving her and we made another friend!

The forgotten girl's lovers

I met the girl who's name I forgot again. We have some friends in common, but they know I already know her for a while so I feel silly asking them for her name.

She told me she likes 2 people and she was deciding who she wanted to date. I told her to go out with both of them and see which one she liked more.

As we were talking about this, a man came to talk to us. We were not interested in him, but he kept boring us. He didn't get our signals, and there were so many of them! I looked away for a long time, I yawned, I didn't really talk to him... eventually we just left.

Then the dumb guy followed us! We told him we didn't want to talk to him and maybe he could talk to someone else.

He kept trying so we had to use a more direct approach. I told him I didn't want to talk to him. But he kept reasoning that everyone should get a fair chance and he was just being nice and hadn't done anything wrong. He was so clingy!

I told him I didn't like him. He wanted to convince me he was nice, so I said I'm just an unfriendly person. He said he wanted to help me change. Out of nowhere came one of my friends, saving us from that creep!

We didn't get to talk much about the girl-who's-name-I-forgot's love issue because she had to leave. All this because of that dumb guy!

Brooke

The jealous girlfriend

A girl got jealous at us because we talked to her boyfriend.

We met a guy at a party. His girlfriend was watching us and she came over when we made him laugh a few times.

She put her arms around him and tried to get his sole attention. He still talked to us, so she just told us to stay away!

We asked if she didn't trust him. She said she did, but that we shouldn't try to seduce him.

Valery That makes no sense. If you can trust him, we can't seduce him anyway!

We left and the girlfriend started talking about not talking to us. Later we saw the guy standing alone. He said he agreed with his girlfriend and that people in a relationship shouldn't really talk to others.

We don't know if he meant that or if he just said that because his girlfriend was around. Men are so sneaky!

His girlfriend saw us talking to him again and she got angry. We told her we were just talking and she didn't own him, but she wouldn't listen.

We stayed away from them for the rest of the party.

Brooke Some people are just crazy, like these two.

Proof: all men are sexists

We went out and were going home. When we walked by a wall we heard sounds... we listened for a while because we didn't know what kind of sounds it were. 2 women were doing it!

They must've thought nobody could hear them there.

Brooke Or they liked that others heard them!

We were curious, but we didn't want to look. Other people heard it too, and some men wanted to take a look. We told them they shouldn't do that, and then one guy said maybe they would like it if we joined them! What a sexists!

They didn't look because we told them to and we left. When we looked back, we still saw those men standing there. How pathetic is that!

Our stalker saved Valery's life!

We went to the beach with our 'stalker' and some other friends. We teased him but he wasn't exclusively interested in us.

Valery made a plan. She laid down at the sea and pretended to have drowned. I called our stalker for help and he ran to us. He gave Valery heart massage and mouth to mouth!

Valery He's so cute, he thought it was real!

After he saved Valery they talked a lot. Now he almost likes Valery as much as he should. He didn't get under her shirt yet!

Valery His heart was beating very fast. He was so excited!

He still doesn't know it was a joke! We're not going to tell him!

Attack of the nerds

Nerds tried to seduce us! It was awful and they were so weird!

First they kept looking at us from a distance. Valery was impatient so she waved them over. Only one nerd came, we think it was the leader.

'Is there anything you want to say?'

The nerd started asking us questions about ourselves. We interrupted him and told him to tell us something about himself. He kept talking about what he had done in computer games!

He sensed he wasn't doing so well, so he asked if we met his friends. Brooke said 'Of course not', which he interpreted as a signal to wave them over.

For 5 minutes they were talking about how fast their computers are, how big their hard drives are and what they could download with their fast internet.

Valery I like comparing the human body to other things, but computers?? They really have to get a life.

Brooke pretended to fall asleep. It was so funny, the nerds tried to keep her awake by talking about space, aliens, why crocodiles can't make fast turns and other science stuff!!!!

We felt bad about what we did next. We don't make many mistakes, but the ones we do make are usually big ones. Some girls walked by and we started talking to them too. We told them the nerds were great, and left them with them!

Luckily WE still made it out of there!

The stalker!

Brooke Were we ever wrong!

Valery Not all men are bad. Like this one.

We met a friend, who introduced us to... our stalker! It turned out he's OK. He was running after us because he knew Brooke. And the first time he was late and we happened to be in the way.

Brooke I met him a few months ago but I still don't remember.

We didn't even feel embarrassed because he made such a good impression on us. He's talkative, pays a lot of attention to people and we felt we could tell him everything.

Maybe this could go somewhere... we'll see him around.

A magician with tricks up his sleeve

A bad magician was performing.

She wanted someone's ring and made it disappear. The victim had to open a handkerchief and suddenly the ring was in it.

So she gave back the ring, did a few more tricks and left.

The victim wanted to buy ice cream, but then she saw her wallet was gone! The magician was a thief!

Brooke So don't trust magicians!

A plan for the name

I made a plan to get the name of the girl who's name I forgot. I'll ask her nr and when she answers she'll say her name. That should work.

Brooke

2 competitors for 2 girls

Men can't count. Two guys came to talk to us. 2 guys for 2 girls.

They started out interesting, but then they started competing with one another: one guy had been to Australia, the other one immediately had to say he had been to Japan.

Valery wanted to talk about food, and they immediately told us how much better than the other guy they could cook. That is not necessary, just make us interested in YOU!

We got bored and we didn't want to get even more bored.

Brooke I almost said 'So you have bigger balls, who cares?!'

A complete nerd walked by and we saved ourselves!

We were chased again!

We saw the guy that chased us again! This guy!

(check Two sexists)

He saw us from a distance and he wanted to talk to us. Valery asked if I knew him, but I didn't and she didn't either.

We ran around the corner and hid behind a motorbike. The guy didn't even see us and walked right by us!

See how dumb men are. We have better hide & seek skills!

Boobs

I was walking around a park, collecting signatures for an animal rights petition.

Every time I passed this bench, a guy kept looking at my boobs.

So I told him to follow me because I wanted to talk to him. I went to a passage way and asked him in a friendly way:

'Do you keep looking at my boobs?'

He wasn't sure if I liked him or not, so he was thinking about telling the truth or lying. I smiled and asked if he liked my boobs. He said yes.

I kicked him in the nuts with my knee and left. The sexist.

Brooke

The cheating teacher

Brooke saw the teacher that's dating a student in a lunch restaurant. She had to wait for our order so he could just try seducing her all the time. He started talking about what little he knew about her.

Brooke It was pathetic. He just kept trying to get me to like him somehow.

When she had her order she came outside to me. She told me what happened and we could see him talking to another young girl inside.

We made a plan to get information. Brooke took a walk around the block and Valery would somehow find out what she could.

The teacher sat down and started talking to the young girl. It was apparent they met for the first time. He touched her arm a few times and he leaned back to show his chest.

She seemed to like it all but she left and he got a phone call. He called the caller 'sweetie' and he said they would meet the next day.

So besides dating a student, the teacher is going around seducing people!

We 'broke' something expensive!

We were invited to a fashion show. Before the show started, someone gave us a tour. We saw an expensive new dress that was going to be the highlight of the show. It cost something like 5000, but it didn't look that special and what we did with it was an improvement.

After the tour we could talk to some of the models, and the 'tour guide' left us (we didn't believe that was his job there, but we wanted to see backstage so we pretended to believe him). The models weren't that emancipated, so we left quite soon.

We couldn't find our way back! We backtracked our way and ended up with that showpiece dress. Nobody was around, so we touched it. We checked out the inside of the dress, then:

Valery Brooke pushed the dress.

Brooke Valery did it! One time she broke my porcelain cat so she broke this dress too!

The clothing standard fell, and the dress fell on some incense!

We hadn't seen the incense, so we didn't hurry to get the dress back up. Then there was this smell... the dress was plastic-y and a small hole was burned in it.

We didn't know what to do! We thought: hide the dress or sneak out?

We were smart and sneaked out to the foyer. We saw the show, but we never saw that dress again.

A big fight at a wedding

Something dumb, crazy and sad happened yesterday.

We went to a friend's wedding. We didn't know her that well, but well enough to be invited. Everyone was dancing after dinner.

Some guy tried to talk to the bride all the time. She told us he was her ex. He wanted her back and she didn't want to hear it.

Dumb Why do people invite their exes to their wedding?

Crazy Suddenly (we missed a part) people started fighting. It wasn't just the ex, but also people who had nothing to do with the incident were fighting completely different people! So it looked like there were many separate fights.

We didn't know many people there so we didn't know who to hit!

Brooke Just kidding, we didn't want to fight at all, we just stood back.

Sad It must've been a very sad day for the ex. The love of his life marries someone else forever and he had to see her be happy with someone else.

Valery Luckily I always get who I want!

Messing up men

We found a new way to tease men. Ask them these questions in this order. What they answer doesn't matter that much:

Do you have children?

Do you want children?

What kind of a woman do you want to have children with?

If you liked me enough, would you want children with me?

Do you want to get to know me better?

Let's do that now! I'm pregnant. And you are... ?

Here they get crazy and they always believe you're pregnant!

The guy we'll never get to know

Someone we like was thrown out because of a sleazy sleaze sleaze!

We saw a nice guy and smiled at him so he noticed us. He came to talk to us and he was really nice. We talked about each other and he was confident and has an unique look at life.

Just as we were talking about a model Valery emancipated, this slick guy came and just stood between us and the guy. He asked us dumb questions like 'Do you want to be a model?' and 'Do you like it here?'

After showing him a couple of times we weren't interested, he showed us his car keys! He even told the guy 'Now you show them your car keys!' He said 'You have a big car. At least I have nothing to compensate for!'

We laughed so loud! The bad guy left in anger and we were glad he was gone. We asked the good guy to tell us more about his life and it was quite interesting.

Then the creepy guy came back, this time with 2 bouncers. He said 'This is him', they grabbed his arms and threw him out!

We told the bouncers what happened, but they wouldn't let him back in. Apparently the sleazy guy was some fashion celebrity.

Now we'll never get to know the nice guy better...

Out teasing

Yesterday we were out teasing people. We just say the same thing to everyone, it's so good it drives them crazy! This is one way we tease people, we did it yesterday:

Do you think I'm beautiful?

Guy You are not bad looking.

And what else?

Guy ... you seem smart.

Do you think I'm smart? What have I done that is smart?

Guy You just look like you're smart.

But you said I already look beautiful. Or did you mean my personality?

Guy Yes

How do you know what I'm like? You don't even know me.

Guy ...

Do you want to get to know me better too?

Guy Yes

Why? You don't even know me! So you're not so specific in who you talk to. Don't you have any friends?

Guy I have many friends!

Where are they? [point next to them to an imaginary friend] Is this your friend?

(here they usually get uncomfortable and try to be funny to hide it)

Guy Yes, this is my friend, and here is another friend!

So you are crazy? Did you escape from the mental institution?


It doesn't matter what he says next, just laugh and walk away. Sometimes they come after you to seduce you, but that's just laughable.

You'll easily see them getting insecure. So fun!

Their answers are somewhat different every time, but it's still easy to improvise. Try it yourself!

A friend with no name

About Brooke.

Brooke has this friend. She forgot her name and it's too late to ask for it now. It's embarrassing to her because she keeps running into her.

She has tried so many ways to get to know her name. One time she called another friend who knows her name, but she couldn't describe her accurately enough, so she came up with 10 names.

Another time she tried to introduce another friend to the girl, but she couldn't overhear what they were saying and she never saw the friend who knows her name again.

Every time Brooke sees this person she has to improvise. She can easily just talk to her friend about anything and have a great time, but not knowing someone's name feels strange. Brooke says it's as if you still don't really know them.

So knowing someone's name is important. If anyone knows how we can get to know her name, let us know!

Valery

I threw water in the wrong person's face!

Brooke was in a chique restaurant, when the waiter asked a group to leave because their table had already been reserved. The group had made a reservation too, so they didn't want to leave. But the waiter insisted they left and went to a colleague to discuss how to get rid of them.

Valery I arrived and overheard that the waiter was trying to get rid of some guests to make place for some celebrity, who did not have a reservation.

Brooke I had already talked to the group before and they were nice, so we felt we had to do something.

The waiter came back and told the group if they left now they didn't have to pay for their drinks. We could see they didn't feel comfortable anymore. They said they would just finish their drinks and then leave.

The waiter simply said 'No, you have to leave now'. The group started talking loudly about their treatment and the waiter left for his colleague again.

When he came back, Brooke went to the group's table, took one of the drinks and threw it in his face!

But it was someone else!

How Brooke was looking we'll never know, but they really didn't look alike. It was another guest! And Brooke wasn't even embarrassed!

Brooke It wasn't my fault, all men look alike!

Brooke just waited for the right person to come back and threw water in his face too.

Don't drink the wine!

Men are sexists. I was out with some friends and their friends to play beach volleyball... on a hot day.

When we were leaving, a friend of a friend wanted to ride in the car I came with because he liked me. I didn't like him in that way, so instead of one of my friends making place for him, I said 'OK, and I'll ride in the car you came with'. That was a mistake.

I was waiting for the car with another guy. I was thirsty and he only had wine. I didn't want to drink, but they took so long finding the car that I drank the wine. I get almost drunk easily and it being so hot, I got almost drunk very easily. In that state I'm very impressionable.

The stupid guy got me to pose for him and took pictures of me in my bikini. My friends saw it and thought I liked him! The next day I explained everything and a friend called him for me. He didn't want to delete the pictures and he said his friends liked the pictures too.

What a loser! Why would you give someone a bad feeling? Brooke cheered me up and I felt good in no time again. Girlfriends!

Valery

A conceited 'celebrity'

Valery It's interesting to see how fame can change people.

Brooke I'll remember this for a long time.

Valery Yeah, for 5 days.

We were trying to find the zoo, so we asked a woman for directions.

'I'm here enjoying myself. Can you just leave me alone please?'

We thought she had psychic problems. She did, actually. As we walked away, she said

'Every time I'm in a public place people like you harass me. You should be ashamed of yourselves.'

We said we just wanted to know where the zoo is and would then be on our way. Then she said if we took pictures she'd sue us. We asked why she thought we would do that. She said everyone wanted to take her picture and she didn't want to end up in a gossip magazine. We said

'You are famous?'

She got so insulted!

Brooke I thought 'What a conceited woman!'

We said she obviously didn't get it and that we didn't know she was famous, and therefore she couldn't be that famous. She got this angry look on her face and told us if she still saw us in 10 seconds she'd call the police!

We would normally leave, but if someone acts like that nobody cares about what they say… so we held strong eye contact for 10 seconds. After that I said to Valery

'I guess… she didn't pay her phone bill!'

We laughed at her and left without looking back.

Brooke I wish we had her nr so we could call her to laugh at her again

Valery We still don't know what we're supposed to know her from

The 21 year old virgin

We had lunch outside. We saw a guy sitting alone, so we teased him and asked why he didn't have any friends.

The first thing he said made it super clear he's still a virgin.

He didn't dare to admit it, but anyone could tell. He's 21! I don't think he has ever even kissed anyone.

He said he was waiting for his friends. We left him alone and started talking about our own lives, but he was desperate to get to know us. We didn't want to leave a fake nr so we just told him we only like other women, which made him even more interested!

Valery We should have seen that coming

We said 'So you are waiting for your friends?' and just kept direct eye contact the entire time, watching him waiting for his friends. He didn't know what to do! He kept glancing at us but didn't dare to look... what a virgin!

Brooke Maybe he should make friends with that seducer guy.